Space Gits! is a dumb game about drunken space orcs stumbling around, kicking and shooting each other, and gathering bottlecaps before running off the board after a 30 minute real world timer goes off. It was fun. I painted a bunch of Orky rockers for it. Call it a bonus “Off the Bench.”

I didn’t grab many photos as I actually played the game and that thirty minute timer really holds your feet to the fire! It’s a dice dexterity game where, for example, you move by rolling three dice onto the board. You then move your orc the listed number in inches toward each of the three dice wherever they physically landed–so where you roll them physically matters as it dictates where your orc will drunkenly stumble. I found myself stumbling forward then backward more than a few times. Add to that that every time your orc activates or takes damage it builds a dice tower next to it. When you move the orc you have to move the tower with the same hand–if the tower falls over, your orc falls over and is out of play until a buddy boots him up the arse.

Combat is Rock, Paper, Scissors–wait, sorry, it’s Thump, Shove, Pinch. If you Thump successfully you do damage. If you Shove, you push your enemy back (which will likely knock them over). If you Pinch, you steal a bottlecap (victory point) off your opponent’s pool.

We played just the free quickstart rules, so there’s a lot more to the game than our simple version. As it was, I found it to be a good teaser of the system and I look forward to playing it properly down the line. The game was frantic and fun, though the timer does mean you really don’t do much in the way of heavy decision making. It was a perfect game to wrap up a hectic convention day spent running much more complex systems. For both myself and my players, 30 minutes of laughing at orcs falling over and being silly was a great way to end the day.

I wish I had more to say. My impression was positive but it’s easy to see this is a system that requires the right crowd and mindset. I could see gathering the lads to play three matches in a row with some form of escalation. I can’t see this becoming a main game for anyone or a game you’d play more than a handful of times. Maybe when the full rules release (which I backed on Kickstarter) I’ll change my mind. Maybe. But at least it gave me the excuse to have fun painting up these stupid ass boys I got from Modulork on MyMiniFactory. Not many excuses to use those, really, so I was happy to find one. If you have some orcs laying around or just want a fun hobby project, I think you could do a lot worse than giving Space Gits a try.